Another Reason I Do NOT Want My Children To Grow Up

I dread my children growing into those monsters we call teenagers. As if the current culture of our society wasn't reason enough to want to run screaming the moment the first turns 13, there are another laundry list of reasons that add up this time every year.

• Girls, it is 60 degrees out, barely. Shorts that your ass hangs out of are not appropriate attire for another two months, nor do they go with those ugly, furry Ugg boots. If you need to wear winter apparel on your feet, skip the shorts.
• Driving down the street with every window in the car down blasting Justin Bieber will not make you cool. If you want to listen to music in the car, the entire neighborhood does not need to listen to it either.
• Using your parents car for joyriding around town does not make you special. You are special when you are driving your own car you bought and paid for, and insure yourself. One slip of the wheel while you are texting your BFF is going to cost your parents more than they may have.
• Dirt Bikes are meant for the DIRT. I mean, that is where they got their name from right? They do not belong on the streets. If they are not a registered motor vehicle with turn signals and a license plate I will spend the summer calling the police on you.
• Smoking is not cool. It never has been and never will be. It kills you.
• Standing on a main road at a dangerous curve in the middle of the road dancing while waiting for your younger siblings bus is not smart. You will get hit by a car, then your dance routine you have been working on is out the window.
• If you hear my dogs barking at you, do not stop at the end of my driveway and proceed to stand there or taunt my dogs. I will come outside and yell at you.

Some days I really hate teens.

The Schooling Debacle

Home School, Public School, Private School, Unschool... God damn there are way too many options when it comes to figuring out what kind of education to provide for your kids.

Before I met the internet blogging world, I only thought there were really two options, public school or private school. Growing up no one home schooled or at least no one that I was raised around, the concept was beyond foreign. Unschooling wasn't even a thought, but the way I look at it, it can certainly be compared to parents who didn't send their children to school period.

When it came time for me to really decide what kind of educational path I chose for my children I did not make the choice with a light heart, or to be off the beaten path. My choice would impact my child forever. From their education, to the possibility of college, career, everything. I mean everything!

My first thought was I would love to home school. Then a million questions and thoughts ran through my mind like the hamster on that stupid wheel at 2 in the morning, one day my children will wake up to no hamster!

• I want to kill my kids by noon as it is, do I really want them home all the time, when I have the option to ship them out?
• Am I qualified to give my children what I feel is a quality education?
• How will it impact their opportunities for continuing education after the standard schooling period?

I talked myself right out of home schooling. Looking back I am glad I made that decision because the boys are thriving in their current educational environment. And I don't feel as though the education I have is enough to provide them with proper schooling.

Now that home schooling was out of the picture, I didn't have to worry about unschooling, not that I would really be interested in that from the get go. Something about the concept to me is upsetting. I understand it is perfect for some families, and I don't understand much about it but I feel as though some of these people aren't doing anything more than setting their children up for failure in their adult lives.
Like it or not, I feel as though children have a strong need for some form of structure in life.

It was down to public or private knowing the vast majority of the private schools in our community are structured around religion which has zero interest to me. My husband on the other hand was born and raised shackled to a church so the thought of getting the children some kind of religious teaching was a positive to him, partly because I do not force my kids to go to church. Call me a bad mother, I dont think kids should be forced into religion. Especially if it is a religion filled with pedophiles every way you turn.

Along with my reservations on religious schooling, and the price tag that goes along with it, I won the battle for public school. We already pay more than enough in taxes, why tack on another $12K per year for our children at this point, and even more with each child we have, since I am certainly not done.

In the end public school has become a great option for our family. My children are truly being educated. Being taught to read, write properly, and learn skills they will need for adulthood.
It is nice to think about all kinds of alternative options but we have to consider what we are really setting our children up for.

Success or failure?

Blind Leading the Blind into Battle?

Thank you to Teabonics for the picture, if you haven't been over to Flickr and checked out the hysterical photo album people have been putting together of Tea Party Patriot signs, please do not hesitate any further. Be sure to pee before you check it out though!

Though the Tea Party supporters have greatly decreased in the past calendar year, they seem to be popping up in the news the past week since April 15th, Tax Day was last week. I wanted to express some of my feelings on the Tea Party situation as a whole in one post. I probably won't revisit the subject unless these elderly nut jobs start bombing things or committing acts of terrorism in the name of patriotism.

First things first. Sarah Palin? Really? I think we all know my track record with the former VP candidate and Governor of Alaska. As it stands, I still think my dog could do a better job at most things, including mothering her brood. Could these Tea Party supporters not have access to anyone better? The majority of Americans think she is useless so the new cause de jour picks her up to be a spokes woman? If you guys really want to be taken seriously drop Airhead Barbie and pick up that other nut job Glenn Beck.
Does this mean the Republican's don't want her back?

Second, watch your words. Encouraging citizens to take up arms against the government could be considered a serious terrorist threat in the times we live in. Domestic terrorism is not special, it does not make you any better than the extremists that flew planes into the Twin Towers, and it certainly doesn't get anything accomplished, especially change. Bill Clinton was right when he warned you to watch your words.

Third, where are all the blacks at your rallies? The Tea Party movement certainly looks to me like a bunch of older, wealthy whites. I think Andy Ostroy hit the nail right on the head when he wrote The Tea Party Movement Isn't About Racism? Read This... After reading that, I took a stroll over to The New York Times which released the findings of a poll focused around the new Tea Party Movement. Their findings?
Tea Party Movement Supporters tend to :

• Be White
• Be Male
• Be Married
• Over the age of 45
• With Conservative Republican Views
• Classify themselves as "angry" with Washington
• Place the majority of the blame on Obama (that is a whole post in itself)
• Believe the current administration favors blacks over whites

All extremely telling for me at least. I am not racist by any means, but I can certainly see the divide between the races, even more so once Obama took office. In the article is shows the majority of the Tea Party Supporters feel as though Obama does not share the views of Americans. In other words, according to these new radicals, the majority of Americans are white, church going, conservatives, certainly not the case. Another reason why Obama was voted in to begin with.

If that is the majority, then someone needs to run that by the majority that run in my circle up here in the great white North East that would rather go out shopping or fishing on Sunday rather than run down to the local chapel for a snooze.

But the movement wouldn't be your typical post Republicans if they weren't hypocrites. The majority of the Tea Party Supporters do not want any changes made to their social security benefits, or medicare, two large government programs in many cases highly funded by the government they are bitching and moaning about.

To wrap it all up, I want to share a quote which was at the tail end of the New York Times article on the poll.

“He’s a socialist. And to tell you the truth, I think he’s a Muslim and trying to head us in that direction, I don’t care what he says. He’s been in office over a year and can’t find a church to go to. That doesn’t say much for him.”

Said by Kathy Mayhugh, 67, a retired medical transcriber in Jacksonville. Mrs. Mayhugh, buying into propaganda of this nature puts you in the same category as Palin, uneducated.

Pro Choice Means Exactly That!

I came across this blog recently titled RealChoice though some right wing nutjob I have on my facebook friends. Needless to say, after said friend became a fan of this blog, and I read a post on RealChoice, they ended up in my friend trash can.

But that bothered me about the whole concept of the post I read entitled Newsweek author asks wrong question is that the thinking behind the post implies all pro choice people are basically killing an entire generation because of course being pro choice means we kill all our baybeeees and have no desire to be a mother. Which in reality could not be further from the truth, especially with over 4 million babies being born annually and we know they aren't all part of the Duggar Cult.

Unfortunately for said pro life author this could not be any farther from the reality of the women who are giving birth in our country. While us crazy liberal mothers aren't cranking them out like the Duggars, we certainly are actively having children, and sometimes stopping short of any children we could not afford. GASP! Isn't that a conservative quality??

The fact is, the anti choice breeders may be cranking them out, but there aren't enough of them birthing like rabbits to actually out number the amount of pro choice actively birthing wanted children.

Another fact of life these brainwashed breeders are forgetting is they may pop them out like pez dispensers, but that doesn't mean their children are going to turn out to be perfect Christian pro life breeders like mommy.

The teen pregnancy and purity balls may be up right now, but they are certainly coming to a quick end, just like the crisis pregnancy center shams.

I am a pro choice mother, and I plan on popping out as many as my husband and I can afford... so boo ya RealChoice!

Do Teens Understand Their Actions?

Over the past couple years, from TV to internet message boards, I have noticed a large number of teens, meaning from 13-19 actively trying to get pregnant. Whether they are over 18 and married, or 13, unable to drive, work, or support the child they may bring into the world.
And it really peaked my interest in starting to investigate more about teen pregnancy. Some of the information I came across was eye opening, and floored me.
But the question that burns in my mind most of all is, what are these young girls missing in their lives that they are out actively trying to get pregnant by whatever boy they come across? Is their home life lacking something? Attention, love, connection with their parents, discipline? What?

Now, don't get me wrong. I consider myself to be a young mother, when I got pregnant with my first child I was 21 years old and gave birth to him when I was 22 years old. But there were big differences between the situation of these children, and mine. First being, I was independent and not living under the roof of my parents, another was I had my own medical insurance, owned my own car, had a drivers license, worked full time, and was in a committed relationship with someone who supported me 100% not only emotionally, but also monetarily because shortly into my first trimester I had to resign from my job because of pregnancy related complications. We were adults, and capable of dealing with all the situations being handed to us as the pregnancy, and parenthood went on.

Could I have handled that at 14 years old? Hell no! Would my mother have kicked my ass? HELL YA!

Children of teen mothers are more likely to be teen parents themselves, teen's also receive less than adequate pre natal care in most cases, which not only increases their risk category, but it also increases the risks to the baby they give birth to. Children of teen parents have a greater risk for developmental delays, as they grow, children of teen parents tend to be in poorer health than children of adult women. According to parents' reports of their children's health status, 60% of children born to non-teen mothers were rated in "excellent" health, compared to 38% for children born to the youngest adolescent mothers.
These are not small numbers, these are big numbers and they have a direct and lifelong impact on these children.
To move on, the children born to these teen mothers also are at a higher risk to be an "indicated case" of child abuse or neglect. While I cannot tell you why, I can speculate a few things. One being that these children do not know how to properly care for children themselves, and the other being, they do not want to give up their own lives which we all know when you have a child, your personal life goes straight out the window. Little Sally won't be able to go to the mall with her home girls anymore when she wants to because she has a baby she needs to take care of, it is not a doll that can just be left behind.
Children born to mothers age 15 and younger are two times more likely to become an indicated case of child abuse/neglect in the first five years of their lives than are the children born to mothers age 20-21.
The list goes on, children of teen mothers are more likely to drop out of school, son's of teen mothers are more likely to be incarcerated, daughters of teen mothers are more likely to become a teen parent themselves, and are more likely to live in poverty and not have an even start to life.

These are not all things that I made up, these are facts and statistics taken from The Teen Parent Child Care Quality Improvement Project.

When I see these young girls bragging about going out to try and have a baby with just anyone, not only does it piss me off as a parent, but it makes me want to be an actual parent to them because it is clear that there is something lacking at home.
These girls do not know what it really takes to be a parent, and the only people it will come back on is their parents, society, and that poor helpless child.

Feminism Doesn't End at Choice....

Meaning, in so many words, our pro choice goals as feminists, should not stop once a woman has made the choice to continue her pregnancy to term.

We are seeing a current epidemic of women who are losing their own reproductive freedom's during pregnancy and at the time of birth. There is a large epidemic of court ordered cesarean sections, which can and has already been compared to rape.
We have seen this currently in the case of Joy Szabo who was told if she showed up at her local hospital to give birth (VBAC) she would be court ordered to have a cesarean section against her will. Which in turn completely violates the laws regarding informed consent.
Then we move on to the case of Amber Marlowe who was told after a routine late term ultrasound her baby was 13+ pounds and she needed a cesarean, after giving birth vaginally to her previous 6 children with no issue. Hospital staff went to the court, and they were granted a court order to perform a "medically necessary" cesarean and petitioned to become the "guardian" of the unborn child. Talk about out of a movie huh? She went to a different hospital and delivered, vaginally, a healthy 11 pound baby with no complications.
Now had the first hospital got their hands on this woman, she would have been subject to serious unnecessary major surgery.
Hear Laura Pemberton speak about her experience....

Laura Pemberton from NAPW on Vimeo.

Then the case of Laura Pemberton in Florida. Refused a c-section and signed herself out of the hospital AMA, and went home to continue to labor on her own. While in labor, she was met with a knock on her door, and handcuffed, and returned to the hospital for a court ordered c-section after the hospital told a judge that the risk to the baby from uterine rupture was significant. I am sorry, but a less than 1% chance, is not significant when the risk of the child actually DYING is three times greater with an elective c-section.
The cases go on and on. But why is there such a problem?
Well, for one we are not living in the Orwell Novel 1984. Our government should not be making medical decision for us, nor should Doctors solely be making these choices. We are constantly hearing the Pro Choice crowd picketing and arguing about the rights of the pregnant women when it comes to abortion, but what about those SAME pro choice women that make a decision to keep their baby, or plan to get pregnant. Of Course they should still get the same kind of treatment regarding the medical decisions they make during their pregnancy and birth.

It is a truly scary day in America when women lose their rights simply because they are pregnant.

Long Time No Post!

I never thought I would agree with anything Dr. Amy had to say, but she wrote a great blog yesterday about Sarah Palin and her hate...

What Sarah Palin can teach us about hate

Sarah Palin burst onto the national scene slightly more than a year ago at the Republican National Convention. Since then she has gone from disaster to disaster: she fatally weakened the Republican ticket, committed countless ethical violations, and couldn't even manage to govern the State of Alaska. Through it all, she has demonstrated herself to be simultaneously a blithering idiot and a confirmed narcissist.

On the eve of publication of her new book, it is worth examining Palin's one outstanding talent, her ability to incite hatred. The contemporary GOP is a party fueled on hate. Hate is the stock in trade of O'Reilly, Limbaugh and Beck, so it is no small feat that Sarah Palin could claim to be the hater-in-chief. In her rapturously received speech to the Republican convention she gave what amounted to a clinic in inciting hatred. It is worth looking back at that speech and how she did it.

Psychologists have recently published findings on the five steps in the development of collective hate (Making a Virtue of Evil: A Five-Step Social Identity Model of the Development of Collective Hate, Soc Per Psych Compass 2/3 (2008): 1313–1344) and Palin seems to have embraced the model enthusiastically. According to the researchers:

The five steps are: (i) Identification, the construction of an ingroup; (ii) Exclusion, the definition of targets as external to the ingroup; (iii) Threat, the representation of these targets as endangering ingroup identity; (iv) Virtue, the championing of the ingroup as (uniquely) good; and (v) Celebration, embracing the eradication of the outgroup as necessary to the defence of virtue.

Let's look at how Palin accomplished those aims.

Identification, or I'm just like you: Palin led with a description of her family, proudly proclaiming, "Our family has the same ups and downs as any other ... the same challenges and the same joys." She emphasized her large family size, her family members in the military, her special needs child, her husband's blue collar job and her parents' background as farmer and small business person.

Exclusion, defining the other: Palin was quick to claim that her opponent talks one way in Scranton to working people (us) and another way in San Francisco (them, and they're gay, too) supposedly deriding religion and gun ownership. Palin invokes the Washington elites (them) as if the Republicans didn't hold the presidency, vice presidency, Supreme Court, and other major positions of power.

The threat: Her opponent supposedly wants to turn his back on victory in Iraq; her opponent wants us to be threatened by oil producing nations; and, worst of all, terrorists are trying to attack us and her opponent still cares about the Constitution.

Virtue: Her group is uniquely good. She implies that they, and they alone, are the people who care about family, about religion, about patriotism, about sacrifice, and she is sure that God cares uniquely about her group.

Celebration: Finally, the call to action, the insistence that the defeat of the other is required to defend the values of family, religion, patriotism and sacrifice.

Not only was the structure of the speech designed to evoke hate, the very words and the delivery were chosen to ridicule, demean and denigrate. She made is quite clear that her opponents are not merely political opponents, they are people unworthy of the basic respect that should be due to any individual, let alone two Senators who have served their country well.

Sarah Palin was perhaps more honest than she intended to be when she described herself as a pit bull with lipstick. She implied that she is vicious, immoral, bred to attack, and fed on misery and hate. The crowd lapped it up. She carefully followed the script for inciting hatred and the audience responded with thunderous applause. It was a virtuoso performance in the art of hate.