Another Reason I Do NOT Want My Children To Grow Up

I dread my children growing into those monsters we call teenagers. As if the current culture of our society wasn't reason enough to want to run screaming the moment the first turns 13, there are another laundry list of reasons that add up this time every year.

• Girls, it is 60 degrees out, barely. Shorts that your ass hangs out of are not appropriate attire for another two months, nor do they go with those ugly, furry Ugg boots. If you need to wear winter apparel on your feet, skip the shorts.
• Driving down the street with every window in the car down blasting Justin Bieber will not make you cool. If you want to listen to music in the car, the entire neighborhood does not need to listen to it either.
• Using your parents car for joyriding around town does not make you special. You are special when you are driving your own car you bought and paid for, and insure yourself. One slip of the wheel while you are texting your BFF is going to cost your parents more than they may have.
• Dirt Bikes are meant for the DIRT. I mean, that is where they got their name from right? They do not belong on the streets. If they are not a registered motor vehicle with turn signals and a license plate I will spend the summer calling the police on you.
• Smoking is not cool. It never has been and never will be. It kills you.
• Standing on a main road at a dangerous curve in the middle of the road dancing while waiting for your younger siblings bus is not smart. You will get hit by a car, then your dance routine you have been working on is out the window.
• If you hear my dogs barking at you, do not stop at the end of my driveway and proceed to stand there or taunt my dogs. I will come outside and yell at you.

Some days I really hate teens.